It Happens in Threes.

Here are 3 of my interactions with jerks, today:

A lady ordered some coffees and when I gave her a table number (oh, you know, just so the person making coffee, who wasn't me, could FIND HER in the busy cafe!) she said, "We don't need that."
"Really? I wasn't aware that the fictional character of BUFFY SUMMERS had come to life and come to town, since she happens to be the only person in the world I both fear and love enough [and may have a secret lusting after which is frankly none of your business and doesn't support your case any to even have wondered about. Homophobe] to make special allowances for!!!!!!" I didn't actually say any of that, since it would result in my immediate firing; and perhaps she didn't know what I was thinking since I withdrew the number and brightly replied, "Sure, no problem!"; But if that lady happens to be psychic (and I think we can assume with some certainty that she is), well then! - She'd be getting QUITE the unpleasant mental message. Oh, Rosie.. You are a revenge-exacting MACHINE!

Another lady watched as I approached with her coffee later in the day and when I set it down, asked, "Have you hurt your leg?"
No! What the hell's that supposed to mean?! Between her and the random gym trainer who asked if I had an injury, I'm starting to wonder if I look like a total retard. ("STARTING?" you all ask. Shut up. Don't you know it's cruel to tease the disabled? On the other hand, this lady may not be psychic, but she definitely has an affliction of the mind, to put it nicely, so I didn't take it personally. Should I have? No, no I'm perfectly fine... *Hits head three times, turns in anti-clockwise circles*.)

Lastly, but not least in ickiness, the most disgusting man on the planet came to hassle us at the end of the day. I know I've complained about pervs before, but this one just oozes sleaze from every pore. Whenever I see his face I'm immediately gripped with the mental image of him anally-raping some poor hooker (he couldn't convince a regular broad so far as the bedroom, and you'd defs refuse a drink if he offered, so spiking would be out of the question) with gritted teeth, sweat upon his brow and madness in his eyes. This is also the loser who asked my younger workmate if she had an older sister from whom he might buy some booty (Ok, not quite in those words, but it was honestly implied!). Oh, and he once tried to entice my MALE workmate to do him some favour with, "I'll let you touch me." Ew! Shouldn't that be to punish him for NOT doing the favour?.
Anyhoo, I obviously got stuck serving this bum today, and extended to him to smallest level of courtesy required by my job, coupled with an obvious indifference so as not to encourage his uncontrollable bouts of sleaze. All the same, Sleazoid tells me, "I've been watching you for a year now and I've decided you have a very nice manner about you." Luckily, I found this too hilarious to show any obvious disgust and was actually at more risk of laughing in his face! How could he find me nice? I treat him the most coldly out of all my customers! If HE likes me, everyone else must wanna have my babies. I think he must interpret my coldness as being cordial, which is probably fortunate.

So.. You can tell a full moon's on the way, eh? Sure brings em out in droves.